Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
