Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
