i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
