How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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