try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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