i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
and you fell through a lawn chair
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
