are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
