Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
