A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize