You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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