I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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