yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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