OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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