Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
