Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
