we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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