I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
