i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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