I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
