Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
