we made out on top of his cat.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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