Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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