Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
