Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
