Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
