he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
