Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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