im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
