You're earring is so big in my mouth
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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