We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
