dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
