i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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