not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
