I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
