Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We left an ass print on the piano.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
