You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The feeling are messing with the penis
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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