New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
