I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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