yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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