nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
