We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
now i know why i became what i already was.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The air was thick with penises
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
