Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
