I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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