we have pet lesbian snakes
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
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