Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
