Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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