so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
A bitchslap is in order.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
