that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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