guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
