the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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