The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
