It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could make wine with my vomit
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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