Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize