she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
