i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
