I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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