My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
