he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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