That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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