I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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