Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
