wrigley field is MILF paradise
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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