so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We're too hungover to prance.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
