Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
