and you said cock pushups were impossible
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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